~This content was originally published January 20 on my LinkedIn Newsletter, Connecting the Dots. Subscribe here.
Sometimes when we’re stressed, struggling, or stumbling, the experience can be isolating. We chastise ourselves or feel like we’re failing while everyone else has it together.
But I recently discovered the concept of common humanity which is really cool. When we focus on common humanity, we remind ourselves that imperfection is perfectly normal (of course it is!) but we also realize that we’re not alone. Instead of comparing ourselves and coming up short, we remind ourselves that everyone faces challenges.
It’s more than just a feel-good concept. The idea is backed by academic research** which finds that when we intentionally focus on shared experiences, we have reduced depression and anxiety as well as greater resilience. In addition, we enhance our capacity to empathize with others, and we tend to behave more pro-socially (listening, asking questions, attending to others).
All of this helps us to cope by shoring up our own resources as well as building our bonds with others who can offer support and safety nets just when we need them most.
The concept of common humanity has roots in ancient ideas. 2,000-year-old Buddhist philosophy frames suffering as universal, rather than personal. Stoic philosophy stresses the importance of seeing yourself as part of a whole. And many other spiritual, religious, and philosophical belief systems emphasize universal humanity. The word ubuntu from the Nguni language family means, “I am because we are,” or, “A person is a person through other people.” Lovely.
The big thing: Ultimately, failing, imperfection, or foibles don’t define us. We can always improve and find ways to do our best in spite of the slog. Things are hard sometimes. But when we foster a sense of connection and community, we can learn, grow, and thrive. Hmm…this sounds a lot like growth mentality too!
Let me know what you think! Are you hard on yourself sometimes? In what ways do you talk yourself through hard times? In what ways do you turn to others for support?
Thanks for reading. I’m glad you’re here!
**Research published in Self and Identity describes the concept of self-compassion including common humanity, kindness, and mindfulness. It also correlates greater self-compassion with reduced depression and anxiety. Research published in another article in Self and Identity, demonstrates the correlation between self-compassion including, common humanity, with greater empathy. And research in the Journal of Research in Personality finds correlations between self-compassion, including common humanity, to resilience.
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If you’d like to read more, take a look at my books here and my articles here. You can preorder my new book, Critical Connections, here.
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Photo Credit: Paul Carroll on Unsplash.