When she was 27, a co-worker told Ginny Giles* that she should be the one to work late because she had no family (she was unmarried without children). Another co-worker said that Ginny should be paid less for doing the same work because she didn’t have children to support. (What???) Ginny knew these were fundamentally wrong-headed and then and there she determined that she was a ‘family of one’. She knew she was happier and more productive at work when she was able to intentionally disconnect and integrate her work and life. She knew that this was no less important for her as a single person with no kids. As a ‘family of one’, Ginny asked herself what she wanted to do with her family time and to this day, she makes sure she spends appropriate family time away from work. Brilliant!
Ginny is about reflection, reframing, and positive action. Today, as a 30-something, Ginny must surely be one of the most centered and grounded people I’ve ever met. Here are lessons from her work-life story:
- Horton Hears a Who. Ginny vividly remembers reading the Dr. Seuss story when she was 3 years old. While she didn’t yet have the language of social justice, it resonated with her. It was about everyone being heard, everyone having a place, and about equity. These would be her callings. Lesson: Pay attention to what moves you, what resonates with you, and what energizes you, and go toward that – as a volunteer, as an educational pursuit, or as a career.
- Don’t be Afraid to Be Broke. After Ginny’s job was eliminated, she was looking for work. She couldn’t find an opportunity that aligned with her values or her vision. She went back to school, but after graduating still couldn’t find the right fit. She had job offers, but none were matches to her needs and beliefs. Instead of compromising, she held out. There were days when didn’t eat so she could pay her rent. There were weeks when her parents and siblings questioned her sanity. But Ginny wouldn’t have done anything differently. She knew at her core that she couldn’t do work that wasn’t aligned with who she was. Lesson: Hold out for the opportunity that meets your values and vision.
- Don’t be Afraid to Be Cold. When Ginny did find the right role, it was in a small town in west Michigan. Despite some aversion for the cold, she relocated in January, just in time to experience the town’s all-time record for cold temperatures and snowfall**. She couldn’t be happier. The winters can be brutal but she’s making a difference and fulfilling her vision for contributing to a community at both individual and structural levels. Lesson: Take the right opportunity when it matches your most important priorities.
- Buy Your Own Bike. Ginny remembers one of her favorite possessions. It was the first bike she ever bought for herself. For years of birthdays and Christmases and other occasions, she had asked for money instead of gifts. She squirreled away her pennies from small jobs she did for her parents and neighbors. She saved and saved until she could buy her own bike. It felt good. It was empowering. It was her own choice, and it is a memory to savor. Lesson: Commit to a goal and be persistent about reaching it. Don’t give up.
- Let Others Buy Their Own Bikes Too. In her work as an advocate for those in poverty, Ginny says that often, charity is all about the giver, rather than the receiver. We truly help when we’re able to flip this around. For example, while it might be more fun to pick out toys for needy children at the holidays, when we instead give necessary household items, we allow parents to use their few resources to pick out a gift for their children themselves – and to relish the special bonding that comes from a gift chosen and received. When a work team delivers charity items to an agency instead of showing up in full regalia at the home of someone in need, it avoids creating an experience that could feel shaming or embarrassing for the family in need. Lesson: Give for the receiver, not the giver.
- Ride the Bus. For a period of her life, Ginny lived in one of the poorest suburbs of Pittsburgh. Instead of buying a car, she rode the bus regularly. She didn’t like it. It was uncomfortable, inconvenient, and often unsettling. But she was committed to it. She believed it was an important way to immerse herself in her community and to know her neighbors. She was working with impoverished clients and she wanted to truly understand their experience – to live their reality for herself. She knew this would make her better at her job. Lesson: Immerse yourself in your career and your passions.
- Make a List. During a 2-year period when Ginny was out of a job and going to school, she could have become depressed. Instead, she made a list of all her best qualities. For each one, she make an association to what someone with that quality would do. And then she did those things. She found this helped her affirm her skills and talents as a child of God and it helped her take positive action. For example, if she was fun, caring, and a good friend, it was natural that she would help her friends by taking care of their children. In addition to keeping her thoughts and actions positive, the process caused the especially positive relationships to bubble to the surface. The people who stayed close and were most supportive through that time were those who bought into the identity she had renewed in herself. Lesson: Reaffirm and renew your gifts and put them into action.
Overall, Ginny’s lessons are about confidence, respect, and empowerment. She is a family of one and she honors herself and others through her choices and decisions.
*Ginny Giles is the Advancement Director at Good Samaritan Ministries in Holland, Michigan.
**Total snowfall: 153.1 inches. Record low temperature: 2 degrees (F), the lowest temperature ever recorded (since records began in 1905).
Would you like to tell your story? If so, let me know by emailing me at tbrower108@gmail.com. Why? One of the foundations of Bringing Work to Life is abundance: the idea that it is possible to find fulfillment, have it all, and avoid the trade-offs between work and life. After all, work and life aren’t separate things to be placed in containers, but part of an integrated whole of a satisfying life. Another foundation of Bringing Work to Life is the idea of multiple right answers. As we’re all seeking ways to bring work to life – and bring life to work – we can learn from each other’s unique solutions and stories. I’d love to learn about your story!
Tracy Brower is the author of Bring Work to Life by Bringing Life to Work: A Guide for Leaders and Organizations.