Yesterday I had a conversation with a lovely woman who lives in Minneapolis. She wanted some input and some help. She was struggling with issues in creating a better workplace for people at her company (she is in charge of HR) and just wanted to talk some things through, be heard, and get some ideas. I listened, brainstormed, made some suggestions, and connected her with a few resources and people I know.
She was grateful, really grateful.
She said, “You’ve helped me so much, thank you. But I feel so badly, I’ve done nothing for you.” Oh but she had. She had given me a gift by reaching out. It’s nice to be asked for our input and ideas. But even more, she was part of the community.
If the community is really working, it’s not about giving in order to get. It’s just about giving. Period. We actually do get a lot back, but we get the most back when it’s not our goal to get back, but rather just to give.
There’s a Quaker saying that I’ve always loved: “Be a blessing and be blessed.” But the end game isn’t to be blessed. Instead, the aspiration is to be a blessing – to do good – to be a good human – to contribute to others and to what is right in the world. There’s a connection to karma here. Strictly speaking, karma is about rebirth, but loosely speaking, it’s about what you put out into the universe coming back to you. The Bible rejects karma because it rejects reincarnation, but the Bible talks a lot about reaping and sowing. In Greek mythology, Demeter is the goddess of agriculture, but also the goddess of law and order – the laws of giving and getting. Even management circles that focus on ‘systems thinking’ suggest that while you can manipulate the system, you cannot escape it. The ideas of reciprocity repeat in many places. They are core to an understanding of what it means to be human.
Despite connections to reciprocity though, real giving is not about a transaction. It’s not like strict exchange in which you give me something and now I owe you until I pay you back. It’s just about giving – which is really more about altruism. Let us give the world our gifts. They’ll have a good effect. In addition, they will wind through the whole of the system and find their way back to us through a chain of more good things happening.
When we give, we contribute to a world of giving. When we give, we give to the whole. When we give, we create positive momentum and this is a blessing, indeed.
I took the photo above during an early morning drive with two good friends. We were headed to Lansing for a conference on civility. I like it because it’s the dawn of a day with wonderful friends (what a fun day we had, HH and EM!). It’s also a connection to the concept of civility which is also about giving and about the whole and about community.