So you’re turning 18 (a very big deal!) and I’m wondering where the time has gone. I can still hear you as a little boy announcing your birth date: “Feb-uary sev-en.” Your voice is deeper now and I must crane my neck to look you in the eye. The world invites you—welcomes you—as you begin your next chapter. Here is some advice for the adventure.
Be Optimistic and Be Present – Always look toward the future. Look around corners and toward the horizon. Be focused on the possibilities and tap into your potential and that of others. At the same time you’re future-focused, be satisfied and be anchored in the present. The day you can make an impact is today, this moment. Balance the ability to look forward with the need to be based in the now. This quote by Kurt Vonnegut says it well, “Enjoy the little things in life because someday you’ll realize they were the big things.”
Be Ambitious – Stretch. Never avoid the tough challenge, and instead seek out the climb, the slog, or the trial. It’s easy to be average and to compete in contests you can always win, but be relentless in finding your best. Push yourself and never stop pursuing your own excellence.
Trust Yourself – The world will try to impose limits on you. It will also impose evaluations. Resist these and trust yourself. Don’t let the world make you small. Embrace all that you are and all you can achieve no matter the judgement of others.
Be an Inspiration – While you were at the club recently with your arm in a sling after you’d dislocated your shoulder—committed to continuing your work outs even as your shoulder was immobilized—someone came up and told you that you were an inspiration. He was right. Be your best, be determined, be single-minded and share your best self with others. Stand up for what you know is right and be firm in your convictions.
Be Confident and Be Humble – Be who you are, without compromise, and never bow to peer pressure. Set the pace for yourself and others. But also demonstrate humility. Be confident without being arrogant, be bright without overshadowing others.
Be Self Aware – Know your strengths, and also know your weaknesses. Know where you can improve and don’t avoid looking in the mirror at imperfections or acknowledging the skills or qualities you want to expand.
Be Gracious – Be accepting of others—their flaws and their fallibility. Be generous with your time and be forgiving. Always be kind. Be patient with yourself and others. Keep high standards, but give people—including yourself—space to be less-than-perfect.
Wonder – Be curious, explore, and seek surprises. Find new ways to think and new ideas that compel you. Appreciate the ordinary and the magic of the everyday. Embrace moments of awe and moments of wonder.
Be Grateful – Appreciate what you have and who you are. Appreciate those around you. Appreciate all that you’re learning and becoming—throughout your life. Gratitude is one of the keys to happiness and when you’re grateful every day, your world will be bigger, better, and more satisfying.
Be Connected – Don’t hold back in terms of sharing your best, loving others, and expressing this often. Do this in small ways and big ways—being generous always. Be the friend people want to have. In the words of Maya Angelou, “People will forget what you said or did but they will never forget how you made them feel.” Connect with others, reach out, and demonstrate empathy. Be comfortable being alone and spending time with yourself. Also join in—building relationships with those who make you better.
Be Smart – Apply common sense. Even as you pursue adventure, novelty, and fun, be smart about it. Never confuse bravery or capability with invincibility.
Be Grounded – Keep us close. As your family, we’re foundation, your cocoon, and your safe haven. As the quote[i] says, “Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family.” We’ll help you be your best and we’ll be here whenever you need us.
Relax – Have fun, embrace your wit, and find the flow. In the same way you are ambitious, determined, and confident, also take time to have fun and make space to just be.
I must crane my neck to look up to you, literally, but I also look up to you figuratively. You have always been so precious to us—from the moment you were born. From building marble towers to constructing your geotrax throughout the house, you expressed your ingenuity. And from pushing Lily around in your trucks (we lost count of the holes we had to repair in the knees of your jeans) to training Truffle in the art of ‘leave it’, we have appreciated your love for life. Be safe, be kind, demonstrate good judgement, and keep your heart full. We wish you the best in your next adventure as an official adult. We love you now, just as we will love you always.
Note on photos: I’m struck by how similar these photos look, at a glance and from a distance–the sun and the clouds, the sun and the waves. It’s the beauty and power of nature–and the wonder and awe it can’t help but inspire.
[i] Quote by Anthony Brandt.
Also posted on Medium. Access via this link.