As Americans, we celebrate independence, rugged individualism, and the ability to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps. I’m as independent and strong-willed to a fault so I’m all-in for that philosophy but lately I’ve been reflecting on the downside of our American penchant for independence. Unfortunately, the pendulum can swing too far and with the celebration of individualism, we can inadvertently create a belief that accepting help is somehow a bad thing. We can develop a frame that to accept help is to be dependent which – gads! – is one of the worst sins. I believe it needs to be about both dependence and independence, and about both giving and receiving. Reciprocity – I do for you and you do for me – is social lubricant. The joy of helping others requires that they want to be helped and can accept help. If we go too far with our individualism and shut down our ability to also *receive* help, then we also shut down the ability to give. Giving requires a receiver. At a ‘charm class’ I had to attend during my high school years (yes, we still did that back then), I learned that when someone gives you a compliment, the best response is simply to say ‘thank you’. The best response is not to excuse or degrade, but simply to say ‘thank you’. I think life is like this as well. When we help others, we do so because we care and want to help. When they can in turn receive the help gratefully, they are in turn giving back to us. We have the opportunity to give lovingly.