This question was submitted as part of the Limeade Summer Reading Club where the group is reading Bring Work to Life! and (virtually) discussing work-life. Here’s the detail:
I’m feeling overwhelmed with work, family and my personal life (working out, seeing friends). What are small changes I can make in order to feel I feel I can succeed in all areas?
There is a list of perhaps 20 things that may be helpful…but alas, that would probably just add to a feeling of being overwhelmed. (May this answer on how not to be overwhelmed, not overwhelm!)
I think the answer to this question is about thoughts and actions. First, the thoughts:
The biggest thing change I would recommend is to liberate yourself from stringent expectations about all that you should be doing. While it’s certainly positive to strive to be the best you can be and stretch yourself, it may perhaps be even more positive just to be. Say ‘no’ more often – you don’t have to do it all. Take off the pressure and remind yourself that you are complete and wonderful just as you are. You are a human being, not a human doing. Of course you’re imperfect, we all are. And of course you’ll never stop trying to do your best, but you don’t have to do it all or be perfect. Remind yourself that you bring a unique gift to the world just by being you.
Next, give yourself permission to be overwhelmed. We all feel under water sometimes, or there are times when we just can’t get it all done. The pitfall is to add to our feelings of being overwhelmed by beating ourselves up for it. Reassure yourself that it’s just really ok to feel less than optimal sometimes.
Next, the actions:
Ask for help. Open up, reach out, and seek assistance from others. There’s no award for doing it all and there’s no shame in asking for help. Lean on others in those moments when you can’t juggle everything. Far from a sign of weakness, asking for help is a sign of strength and self-awareness. It also builds relationships. Others typically want to help us and we’ll want to help them when they need it as well. Asking for, offering, and accepting help are some of the glue in trusting relationships.
Pay attention to the basics. These are small things but they can help immensely. To get through overwhelming times, you also need to nurture your physical self. Get enough sleep. Drink enough water. Eat as healthfully as you can. Put some movement in your life. In addition, never underestimate the power of nature to refresh, invigorate, and renew. Everyone needs at least 20 minutes a day outside. Unless you’re too busy, then you need an hour*. Resist making these last ideas part of an ever-lengthening to-do list. Just try to work them into the way you live so they don’t add to the pressure.
Liberate yourself, give yourself permission, ask for help, and pay attention to the basics. That’s all, lest too much advice add to the pressure. Best wishes!
* I can’t take credit for this phrase. I saw it on the internet somewhere and have borrowed it!