Some parenting gurus suggest playing foreign language recordings for children so their brains will be wired to learn new languages more readily. Kris Downing* played leadership books on tape for her toddler son. She wasn’t doing it for brain development though. Instead, for Kris, it was all about integrating work and life. And she’s succeeded brilliantly. Here is her story.

When she was a young mom and commuting an hour each way to her job at the Center for Creative Leadership (CCL), Kris and her husband chose childcare that was close to her work rather than their home. This meant that Kris and her young son Daniel enjoyed regular car-time together each day. To make the drive productive, Kris would play books-on-tape. Since her company is one of the most respected organizations focused on leadership practices, her books on tape were typically focused on the topic of leadership as well. One day, Kris’ newly-verbal toddler son Daniel said, “Mommy, leadership is a process, isn’t it?” It was a precious moment that reminded Kris of all that children absorb (those books on tape were sinking in for her son!) and how much every moment of work and life is intertwined.

Mash it Up. Kris defines work-life integration as a mash up. She is most successful when she is doing both all the time. She thinks nothing of writing a work-related report while she’s at home, checking emails during vacation, or reading business-related material between halves at her daughter Carli’s soccer games. Likewise, she has always had the flexibility to attend to necessary family-related issues while she’s at work. She gets this privilege not only because of CCL’s work-life-friendly culture, but also because she has earned it. She is focused on performance and delivering results which give her credibility and flexibility.

Be Flexible. You know those cheesy TV commercials for your local car dealership or restaurant? Kris was behind those kinds of ads when she first started her career in sales for a local TV station. It was a fun job and it taught Kris the value of work and life that were flexible and intertwined. During the day she was out and about with clients. Her bag phone – one of the first mobile phones – was not only a status symbol, but also a tool for the early days of telecommuting. The freedom, responsibility, and autonomy that resulted from her bag phone shaped Kris as an integrator of work-life from her very first job. For Kris, work-life integration is all about flexibility.

Go at Your Own Pace. When Kris pursued her MBA, it was a deliberate decision and she went slowly. It took her almost 5 years, but the speed was right for her so she could take a pay-as-you-go approach. When she graduated with her degree, she was debt-free and she was sane. She had approached the requirements of school with calm and responsibility.

Deliver Results. It was almost 20 years ago when Kris first negotiated for a flexible work approach. At the time, her boss agreed to let her work four, 10-hour days. The schedule was super-helpful to her schedule and her young family. It was easy to negotiate because of CCL’s person-centered culture, but also because Kris delivered results. Her performance was the key to her flexibility.

It’s a Value Equation. Kris says she sleeps well at night because she has equilibrium in her life. “It’s a value equation,” she says. Sometimes there are weeks when she has contributed more to the company than she has gotten in return. Those may have been weeks where she was preparing for a board meeting or finishing a big project. On the other hand, there have been weeks where the opposite was true, in situations where she needed to put a greater focus on family or personal time. The important thing is having overall equilibrium in the value equation. It’s sort of like our diets. Every single day may not be perfectly balanced in terms of what we eat – we all need some amount of ice cream or pizza after all – but taken as a whole, we need to ensure equilibrium. We need to eat our broccoli as well. Work-life integration is like this. Consider the value equation and make overall equilibrium the goal.

Kris also has some great tactical suggestions:

• Work when it Works for You. Kris has learned that her best, most creative times are late at night or in the wee hours of the morning (1am and 2am are her sweet spots). She has learned to work when it works for her.

• Color Code. Part of her fully integrated life is to keep one calendar and one primary email account. Kris keeps track of all of her commitments on her work calendar. She color codes them for personal or work-related activities, but keeping them all in one place helps. She also keeps most of her email coming through one primary email channel (when her dog runs too far, her GPS tracker service sends the email to her primary account). Keeping everything together makes work-life integration easier.

• Use Two Columns. Like her integrated calendar and email accounts, Kris also keeps one to-do list with two columns. One is personal, one is work-related, but she manages everything in her life as part of an integrated whole.

• Keep Moments Full. Kris also plans ahead so she can fill all her moments effectively. If she knows she has a dentist appointment with the obligatory 20 minutes of waiting room time, she brings along business-related reading. All the work she is able to get done in the cracks of her life means more time to spend with her family.

Make Choices About What and How. What advice would Kris give to her son and daughter? “Choose both what and how you’ll work,” she says. It’s important to choose a vocation you’ll love based on your interests but it’s also important to choose how you’ll work and create the conditions you prefer. Find a career in which you feel a fit and can use strategies that work best for your own fulfillment.

As a leader in a pre-eminent organization of leadership gurus, Kris easily relates work-life integration to leadership principles. “It is critical to be self-aware,” she says. Know what you need, and unpack your own processes and preferences. With this kind of self-awareness, you can create the conditions for your success and your work-life integration. As a leader for others, be aware of their needs and preferences – which may not be the same as your own. Contribute actively toward an overall organizational culture which values performance over face-time, trusts employees, and brings work to life.

Kris’ son Daniel had it right all those years ago. Leadership is a process. And work-life integration is a process as well!

*Kris Downing is the Director of Business Strategy and Partnerships at The Center for Creative Leadership. She lives in Greensboro North Carolina where the daffodils are just beginning to bloom.

 

 

Would you like to tell your story? If so, let me know by emailing me at tbrower108@gmail.com. Why? One of the foundations of Bringing Work to Life is abundance: the idea that it is possible to find fulfillment, have it all, and avoid the trade-offs between work and life. After all, work and life aren’t separate things to be placed in containers, but part of an integrated whole of a satisfying life. Another foundation of Bringing Work to Life is the idea of multiple right answers. As we’re all seeking ways to bring work to life – and bring life to work – we can learn from each other’s unique solutions and stories. I’d love to learn about your story! 

Tracy Brower is the author of Bring Work to Life by Bringing Life to Work: A Guide for Leaders and Organizations.