In ‘The Fault in Our Stars’ Augustus is dying and he asks his friends Hazel and Isaac to do their eulogies for him while he is still alive. I cry at sad movies, but this scene had me weeping even more than usual. If you’re not moved by this, your heart is surely made of stone.

But this post is not about death, it’s about life. Recently I’ve given my notice at the company where I’ve worked for two decades – I’m moving on to a (thrilling!) new opportunity and a shift in life’s path. I’ve always said, “The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago, the second best time is today.” I just didn’t realize that I was talking about myself. It’s been a wonderful 20 years and it’s the perfect time to plant a new tree.

20 years is a long run. I have books on my shelf written by the founder of my current company. I have furniture in my home (a lot of furniture) designed and manufactured by my current company. Most importantly, I have relationships (a lot of relationships) with people that are special to me and with whom I’ve worked a long time. It’s amazing to think, really, that many of the people I’ve known at work longer than I’ve known my own children. These are the ‘I-knew-you-when’ relationships that we carry with us.

When I was chatting with colleagues, we agreed that when you work at a place, it becomes a part of you. The good, the bad, the ugly all become part of our histories. And the people do as well. I’ve always believed that people are in our lives for a reason and if they’re there, we have something to learn from them. We carry all of this with us. The company, the colleagues, the connections, the lessons.

But to idealize the past is to disrespect ourselves. There were hard times, and frustrating events, and situations where it was very challenging. And these are also important to our own history and our learning. The best learning comes from challenging times. I was talking with Jenny today about her workLIFEstory (to be published soon). She was saying that forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves. And I think when we move on from a place and a time in our lives, forgiveness is important. There are things we carry, and then there are the things we must set down and leave behind.

Let us keep the lessons, the beauty, the relationships, and the growth. Let us carry these along.

I’ve been saying goodbye and my colleagues have been wishing me well. It’s been heartening. I’ve shared their sentiments with my family. Honestly some sound like I’ve died – they’re like eulogies. In a good way. In modern society we don’t always pause to tell people what they mean to us. Goodbyes are moments to do that.

But goodbyes aren’t goodbyes anymore. Through the magic of social media, we can stay connected forever. And we will. Connections trump companies. Andrew (whose workLIFEstory I published in March) reminded me that we never leave people behind when we leave a company. We keep our relationships with us. We carry them along.

In one message where a friend was saying farewell she said, “A new job is not a new beginning, it is a path to create a new ending.” A friend in my new company was welcoming me. He said he couldn’t wait to begin a new history together. Nice. Beginning a new history together, backpack over the shoulder, full of memories, and a heart full of promise and optimism for the next portion of the journey.